Saturday, May 24, 2008

The Marine (Recruit)


Well, on April 14th, Casey, my cousin, left for boot camp in San Diego, CA. When he first told me about it I was afraid for him. But, as I thought about it and talked to him, fear turned to pride!

He's a cousin, not a nephew. His Grandmother was my Aunt. My Mother's sister. And his mother, an only child, my first cousin, 5 yrs younger than me. She died in 1996. Leaving behind a small boy, to be raised by his grandmother, the best way she could. His father had died when Casey was still an infant. He didn't like being an orphan. I can't say that I blame him.

He and his grandmother came to Springfield to live, in June 1997. They had spent 6 months or so with my sister in Kansas City. That went badly. So, I moved them down here. Helped them set up housekeeping next door to me. That's how I found another good reason that I am not a mother.

He is very intelligent. And could find the damnedest ways to get in trouble. He could manipulate his grandmother, easily. And she was eager to make him happy anyway she could.
Me, he just pushed my buttons!

I didn't meet him til Aug of 1996. I guess he was already 9 yrs old. He was a hyperactive kid, with anger issues, and abandonment issues, also. But, he was very lucky, that when his grandmother died at Christmas, 2000, a family that he had made friends with in grade school, wanted to give him a home, and family. They provided stability for the first time in his life, and he was able to go back to the same school, with his friends, and teachers. Within months, he was a different child. I was amazed.

I know that I could not have done that for him. I've always been sorry about that, but I knew that I was not parenting material.

So he graduated from high school, and was working at the family grocery store. The Kauffmans were comfortable enough to provide for him, and his social security checks when into an investment account. That's how he got his first car. And that's how he and the Kauffmans oldest son bought a house together.

But, somewhere, he decided he wanted more. He wanted school. He wants to run his own grocery store. And, at some point, he decided he wanted to be a Marine. His recruiter told me that he didn't pass the test the first time he took it. But, he showed up after work every night to study, making an even longer day for his recruiter. That took a lot of drive. Something I never saw in his mother, but then we weren't that close. It reminded me of wanting college, and then pharmacy school.

I don't take tests at 8am on Saturday mornings well. So, my scores on my SAT and ACT where not that great. Now kids take classes to prepare for these tests. I just rolled out of bed, and tried to be awake and on time for them. When I got into the University of MO-Kansas City in 1969, it wasn't that hard to do. But when I decided that I wanted to go to Pharmacy school, everyone looked at me like I was crazy. My counselor ( you know--the person that is supposed to give you guidance in picking classes, and heading in the right direction) said; "You can't do that! Look at your scores on your SAT math section." Hey, that doesn't mean squat....I was barely funtioning during that test...geez. But, I showed a backbone, ( hey, who knew?) and said, I didn't care, and if he wouldn't help me, then I'd just do it by myself. And I did.

And I graduated. So, I kind of have a idea of what Casey was thinking. And I know he will complete the process. He says in his letters that he LOVES it. Loves Boot camp! What a kid. He's 20 yrs old. He'll be 21 on July 9th, before he graduates from boot camp, and becomes a Marine. I can't go to San Diego to see it. I have previous plans with someone, I didn't realize that he was going to do this, earlier in the year, when I was making vacation plans. Besides, the Marines kept changing the time he was supposed to leave for boot camp. Originally, it was supposed to be Feb.

We have an uncle that was a Marine. He was involved in Korea. Casey, didn't remember, or had never been told about this. He's named after that uncle. So my sister and I dug through Mother and Aunt Lorri's pictures, looking for the evidence of Uncle Rich's time in the Marines. We send some very special things with him to boot camp, to remind him of the other Marine in the family.

I am so proud of him. I really didn't think he had it in him. But nobody thought I had the drive to accomplish something I really wanted either. I'm sure he'll succeed, and it gives me something else in common with this kid, that I thought,I could never connect with.